• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Families First Mediation

  • Mediation
    • Mediation
    • What is Litigation?
    • How Does this Process Start?
    • Divorce Mediation Benefits
    • Divorce Mediation Tips
    • Legal Separation
      • Legal Separation vs. Divorce
  • About Us
  • Resources
    • Articles
    • Blog
    • Monthly Newsletters
    • iMediate
    • Media Appearances

(408) 357-3486

Schedule Free Consult

Unconscious Uncoupling: Be Happy! Get a Divorce?

You are here: Home / Blog / Unconscious Uncoupling: Be Happy! Get a Divorce?

May 30, 2014 by Dina Haddad

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are separating, or according to Gwen’s post, pursuing “conscious uncoupling.” Often, celebrities bring new or unknown concepts to the public’s attention. As such, this is the first time I have heard of “conscious uncoupling.” The term was coined by Los Angeles therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, who offers a five-week online course to “release the trauma of a breakup, reclaim your power and reinvent your life.”

Gwen explains that marriage and divorce is the manner in which a person can be a “fully realized person.” “Unconscious uncoupling” is that process. The end of a marriage has less to do with the other’s spouse’s fault, but an opportunity for interpersonal growth. In other words, you look to yourself to find out what you did wrong in the marriage and how you could mature as a person. This does not result in the couple reconciling, but moving on as single “newly realized person.”

Moments of crisis definitely give us an opportunity to grow interpersonally, emotionally and spiritually. Divorce certainly is one of these times. However, “unconscious uncoupling” ignores the pain, betrayal, and confusion of divorce. Before true interpersonal growth can happen, couples should have an opportunity to be angry, grieve, and separate from their marriage, both emotionally and physically.

 Unconscious UncouplingI’m also very curious how “unconscious uncoupling” works when one partner has had an affair, an addiction, or there’s been domestic violence, abuse, or criminal activity. Should the injured party (or in some of these situations, the victim) assume fault for the ended marriage for his or her interpersonal growth? How could these situations fall within “unconscious uncoupling?” These marriage-ending situations have little to do with the couple’s desire, or lack thereof, to be married to the other for life. Instead, one spouse has participated in dangerous external activities that have wreaked havoc on their marriage. How can we say that these marriages ended because the injured spouse was immature or was not a “fully realized person?” The injured spouse would have to completely ignore his or her suffering because the other spouse betrayed him or her.

On Gwen’s blog, her mentors further express that “unconscious uncoupling” understands the reality that long-term marriage are an outdated concept better suited to a time when human life expectancy was closer to 30 than 80. They argue that a lifetime commitment might be too much pressure for a person. This actually contradicts research. The research shows that elderly couples in long-term marriages have more satisfying and longer lives than their unmarried or divorced counterparts.

We probably can all agree marriage is difficult. However, instead of waiting for a divorce to become a “fully realized” person, reach out to your spouse now to find areas you could improve.  Put in time and awareness into your marriage now so it lasts. And remember to tell them thank you for the little things they do!

Blog conscious uncoupling,  unconscious uncoupling

Get Started

Call Now: (408) 357-3486 and request a free consultation!
Request Free Consultation

Footer

Social

Follow us on social media.

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

About Us

Families First Mediation is a pioneer in the field of divorce mediation. Our entire divorce mediation team takes great pride in being active trainers, divorce mediators and teachers of mediation in the greater California area. If you are considering a collaborative divorce, legal seperation or looking for a san jose divorce lawyer we have services that may be beneficial to you. Take advantage of our vast expertise and background in the field of divorce mediation and our genuine desire to help with your divorce mediation services.

Contact

Families First Mediation, P.C.
Get Directions
(408) 357-3486
info@ffmediation.com
Mo,Fr 9:30 am – 7:00 pm; Tu,We,Th 9:30 am – 5:30 pm

Navigation

  • Mediation
    • Mediation
    • What is Litigation?
    • How Does this Process Start?
    • Divorce Mediation Benefits
    • Divorce Mediation Tips
    • Legal Separation
      • Legal Separation vs. Divorce
  • About Us
  • Resources
    • Articles
    • Blog
    • Monthly Newsletters
    • iMediate
    • Media Appearances

Recent Posts

  • Child’s College Adds Years to Retirement Date
  • Required Disclosures for Divorce in California
  • When Should I File for Divorce in California?
  • Collaborative Divorce San Jose
  • Celebrating our New Location!

Partners

Marriage Counseling San Jose Ca

Therapist San Jose Ca

Service Areas

  • Sunnyvale
  • Los Altos
  • Milpitas
  • Palo Alto
  • Fremont
  • Santa Cruz
  • San Jose
  • San Mateo
  • Scotts Valley
  • Los Gatos
  • Willow Glen
  • Morgan Hill
  • Campbell
  • Cupertino
  • Santa Clara
  • Menlo Park
  • Morgan Hill
  • Saratoga

Copyright © 2023 · Business Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in