Providing Divorce Mediation Services Throughout California

How to Win Child Custody Mediation | 7 Successful Tips

Dina Haddad

Principal & Founder Attorney-Mediator

How to find get win for child custody mediation

Winning child custody is creating a parenting plan that is in your child’s best interests.

If you’ve been in a custody battle with your spouse and you are wondering what it will take to succeed  in custody mediation, you have come to the right place. 

If you don’t already know what mediation is, it is a process where you and your spouse use a trained mediator to act as a third party neutral. 

There, you will discuss disputes and explore solutions.  Mediation is one of the best ways to make sure your children’s interests are the priority. If you are looking for a professional mediator to help you with your child custody case, reach out to Dina Haddad today. They can schedule you for a free consultation.

Key Takeaways

  • Child custody mediation is where you and your spouse work to resolve  disputes regarding your concerns about the child. 
  • Understanding child custody mediation can help you with your custody arrangement. 
  • What to do if the co-parent is being unreasonable.

What is Child Custody Mediation?

 As discussed in the introduction, mediation is a process to resolve disputes in a neutral setting. You and your spouse will find a mediator to help you work through your custody disputes. 

Now, if you have conflict  regarding child custody matters and wondering how to be successful in mediation, you will need to know a few things like: 

  • How does custody mediation work?
  • What to ask for in child custody mediation?
  • How do I prepare for custody mediation?

Here in our article, “How to Win Child Custody Mediation,” we will be discussing the answers to these important questions.

Understanding Child Custody Mediation

The point of child custody mediation is ultimately to help parents reach agreements about the care of their children.  With the help of the mediator, the parents will decide how they will share legal and physical custody. 

They will create details regarding timeshare, vacations, holidays, selecting schools and extracurriculars, how to introduce new romantic partners, and more.

Process of Child Custody Mediation Process (What Happens)

Mediation  is meant to be a setting that is less confrontational than if you were going through court. Initially, the mediator will work with the parents to explain their  mediation process. 

Note that every mediator has different rules depending on who you talk to. Each parent will then have their own opportunity to express their concerns. 

After you both bring up points that you want to talk about during your session, the mediator can help identify areas of agreement, guiding you to a resolution that is in the best interest of your child(ren). 

It can be intimidating. Consider tools you can use to help you be vocal in your sessions, such as writing down your talking points and concerns prior to the session.  

The mediator will propose solutions that are tailored to your unique position. When you reach a detailed parenting plan, the mediator can draft it, creating a written document that evidences your agreements. 

If you are looking for a professional mediator to help you with your child custody case, reach out to Dina Haddad today. They can schedule you for a free consultation.

The parenting plan will act as a coach,.s tying up expectations, when you and your co-parent are doing well. The plan will be your referee when you are in a dispute. 

For example, mediation is far more effective than other options like going to court. Court can be lengthy. Proceedings and hearings typically extend from several  months to over a year. 

Court processes are also expensive.  When you compare the costs, mediation is less expensive given the time is efficiently used.

Purpose of Custody Agreement

A custody agreement is put into place for parents to have clear expectations and rules as to their custodial time and responsibilities for their children. 

By establishing a parenting plan, parents have to communicate less about areas that are addressed in the parenting plan. As a result, there are fewer opportunities for conflict.  

Strive for a detailed parenting plan. Ideally, a plan that has enough details for you and the co-parent to properly execute co-parenting, and not so many details the plan creates conflict (the plan is used as a sword).

What if the Child’s Other Parent is Not Being Reasonable?

If your co-parent is not being reasonable with their demands, still consider mediation. The majority of the California family law courts require parents to mediate their custody matters prior to requesting a court hearing on the matter.

Can you deny visitation to a non-custodial parent if they are not reasonable? Check out our complete article here. 

Some behaviors are not acceptable and may be very difficult to mediate, including:

  • Hateful messages are being sent to you.  
  • They begin insulting or degrading you. 
  • Your co-parent is abusive or violent.

Keep evidence of their behavior to show to the mediator and if you do end up having to go to court.

7 Successful Tips to Help You Win at Child Custody Mediation

Best 7 Tips to Win Child Custody Mediation

The right approach for child custody mediation is to come with a cooperative attitude. Be present and ready to listen to your co-parent. 

When you don’t agree, ask questions (seek to understand) before you say no. Custody mediation  can  challenge you to maintain your composure, and the mediator is aware of how difficult it can be. The mediator will also appreciate your efforts to maintain self-control and contribute positively in the parenting discussions. To find out more about the Do’s and Don’ts of Child Custody Mediation, you should check out our other article.

1. Be Cooperative with Your Spouse

When you attend custody mediation, the mediator appreciates cooperative parents. It doesn’t mean that the parents have to agree, but that they are looking to work out an arrangement that meets their children’s best interests. If you keep this in mind as you are in custody mediation, you will do great.

2. Prioritize Your Children in Custody Mediation

Remember, custody mediation is about your children. Consider what is best for your children and how you can achieve that and propose these plans in the mediation. If you keep your children the priority of the discussions, you will find it easier to reach agreement and that those agreements actually help you and the co-parent parent together.

3. Prepare Your Documents in Advance

Gather all of the relevant documents that you believe you will need. If you want help, you can always reach out to your mediator before your sessions to ask what you should bring and what you shouldn’t. 

These documents can include things like schedules and other financial information. You can also make a list of your main concerns and goals on what you want to discuss and how you want to go about them.

4. Listen Actively to Your Spouse and Mediator

We know that it can be hard to listen to your ex-spouse. Especially if there is bad blood between you or a specific reason for why you divorced that you are holding lingering feelings towards. But during child custody mediation, you need to be able to put yourself in their shoes if you want the custody arrangement to work. Afterall, there are things you should not say in child custody mediation.

5. Maintain Calm ( In case of Provocation)

If your ex-partner is trying to provoke a reaction during your sessions, don’t let them. Keep a steady head and try your best to maintain your professionalism. Ultimately the mediator will catch on and put a stop to it. They understand that it can be an emotionally charged situation, but bringing up past conflicts unrelated to parenting is not a good way to go.

You are there for the child and taking steps to ensure a healthy schedule that will help them thrive.

6. Focus on the Best Interests of Your Child

When you are initially drafting proposals, and bringing up what you want to talk about during your mediation sessions, you need to base them around your child. Harping on personal grievances can get in the way of what is best for them.

7. Come to Mediation with Realistic Plans Are Realistic

Come into mediation with proposals for things such as custody schedules, holidays, and decision-making processes with plans you know are realistic. 

Of course, everyone wants full custody of their children. You never want to be away from them unless you absolutely have to. But your child needs structure, and making plans that are practical and fit your child’s needs will be a good thing in the long-run. If you are looking for a professional mediator to help you with your child custody case, reach out to Dina Haddad today. They can schedule you for a free consultation.

Best Child Custody Mediation Service in California

There are many different services that you could use, but Families First Mediation is by far the best service we would recommend in the state of California. 

They have established a winning formula for you to successfully mediate your child custody situation (and divorce) with expert mediation attorneys. 

They have proven time and time again that they can without a doubt result in long-lasting settlements and happy clients, finishing your proceedings sooner than you’d think. 

Their head mediator, Dina Haddad, is the proud founder – her entire mission is to make A-class services available to clients at all socio-economic levels. Providing her commitment to excellence at a fraction of the cost of traditional options. If you contact her today, she can schedule you for a free consultation.

Summary

In summary, child custody mediation can be a great help to get you where you need to be when it comes to your child custody agreement. 

A proper mediator can help evaluate and create a tailored solution so that you and your co-parent can come to a workable plan keeping the best interest of your child at heart.

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