Providing Divorce Mediation Services Throughout California

When Is Divorce Mediation Not Recommended | Key Differences

Dina Haddad

Principal & Founder Attorney-Mediator

When is not the Divorce Mediation is Recommended

If you have trouble communicating your needs with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, mediation is a tool that can help you out. 

Since their job is to help you come up with decisions and get to a resolution that satisfies both parties during disputes, only a few cases do not recommend mediation.  

Skip adversarial court battles and expensive attorneys by mediating your divorce with Families First Mediation. Create a personalized and quality agreement with Dina Haddad. 

Schedule your free video consultation today.

What is Divorce Mediation?

To put it simply, divorce mediation is a way for parties to have another person in the room to help things stay calm. Mediators also give advice to their clients on how to move forward rather than backward when they don’t agree on topics like dividing assets or child/spousal support. 

It goes like this:

  1. You find a good mediator
  2. Attend initial mediation sessions. 
  3. Gather information to talk about during these sessions. 
  4. Begin negotiating using the mediator’s help.
  5. Reach an agreement and have your mediator help draw up the settlement draft. 
  6. File the agreement to formalize your divorce.

Mediation in California should be a smooth and straightforward process. The mediator will try to help you find a middle ground with your partner.

They may ask questions about your case and try to understand the specifics so that everything can be divided equally. 

If you need help finding a qualified mediator, contact Dina Haddad today. She provides a free consultation so you can learn about the divorce mediation process and how it can be beneficial to you.

Benefits of Divorce Mediation

There are a ton of benefits to attending mediation, especially in California. 

  • It helps you and your spouse have more of a say in what works and what doesn’t in your divorce. 
  • Mediation can help save you a lot more money than hiring a traditional attorney and attending court.
  • When negotiating agreements, you have more privacy. Unlike traditional court, where you present your case and ‘air out’ your grievances in front of others (even some who may not be officially involved in the case), mediation is a more customized experience. 
  • You and your spouse are the ones in control of personal decisions (for example, child custody schedules) rather than a judge. Check out our 15 tips and tricks on divorce mediation to navigate your divorce productively.

Alternative Dispute Resolution Options In California

In any divorce, you are going to run into disputes. After all, there’s no way you can go in, say what you want to happen, and have your partner go along with everything. 

So, to keep things going quickly, you should review your resolution options: DIY divorce, mediation, collaborative practice and litigation.

1. Divorce Mediation

What It Is: It is a straightforward process where a mediator assists you with reaching equitable agreements outside the family court without involving expensive attorneys. 

  • You, the mediator, and your partner have sit-down sessions. In these sessions, you can work on creative agreements that you and your spouse agree to follow. 

Best For: Mediation is typically less expensive than collaborative practice and a litigated divorce.

  • Divorce mediation takes less time than the other options and usually concludes under 6 months.
  • Mediated agreements have a high level of follow through. That means less conflict in the future and better results. . 
  • Mediation offers a variety of solutions to help parties resolve their dispute.

Limitations: The difficulty may be having your partner’s cooperation. Your partner can refuse to mediate. They can also choose not to cooperate in the sessions when attending. 

  • It may not work when your spouse is coercing or unwilling to cooperate. 
  • Similarly, mediation is not the best route if cases involve domestic violence or abuse.

2. Do It Yourself Divorce

What It Is: In DIY divorce, you do not need a divorce attorney or divorce paralegal to do your divorce. You can be self-represented. This saves you a lot of money.

Best For: A DIY divorce is great for those with simple cases, short-term marriages, or those who do not have money to spend on attorney’s and lawyer’s fees. 

  • It is one of the easiest and most inexpensive options to seek a productive divorce in California. 
  • You can do it from the comfort of your home. TCD divorce experts can assist divorcing couples like you in filling out forms and reviewing and filing them. 

Limitation: Lacking legal knowledge and Filling legal forms incorrectly can lead to potential delays and issues in your case. Hence, you need to make sure what solution your DIY service providers  have for this. 

  • For cases involving complex financial matters, disputes regarding child custody, domestic violence, abuse, etc. DIY divorce would not be the best route to split up.

DIY divorce with TCD always goes smoothly because couples get assistance from TCD divorce experts, from filling out forms to reviewing and filing. 

Related: Check out our “DIY Divorce California Complete Guide.”

3. Collaborative Divorce

What It Is: In collaborative divorce the couple works together with their lawyers to work out the terms of their divorce. 

  • The attorneys and other professionals use a team approach to assist the couple in this process.

Best For: This option is for people on okay terms and agree to settle disagreements outside of court. 

Limitations: Collaborative divorce can be more expensive than mediation and cost as much as a litigated divorce.

  • If a collaborative divorce doesn’t work out, the parties cannot use their attorneys to litigate, which can be very costly.
  • For a collaborative divorce to work, spouses must be on good terms. If spouses come on good terms, then why they should not seek mediation or DIY divorce, which are the cheapest divorce options.

4. Divorce Litigation

What It Is: A process where a judge makes the decisions about the divorce.

  • The judge will review contested issues regarding property division, alimony, etc., and set the terms themselves.

Best For: Divorce litigation is the best option to consider for your divorce when your case involves domestic violence and abuse. 

  • Likewise, if your spouse is unwilling to cooperate, and/or you cannot trust them, you need to seek divorce litigation. 

Limitation: Litigation is very costly and takes a long time.

  • Litigation also has limited follow through given the judge imposes the order, and it is not agreed to by the parties.
  • For the typical, and even majority of cases, divorce litigation should be the last resort. Divorce litigation may be the only option when mediation fails.

5. Arbitration

What It Is: In arbitration, an arbitrator gathers evidence from the two of you and, based on that, makes a ruling on who ‘wins’ or ‘loses’. 

  • It is similar to a trial but not quite. It is far less formal, and the arbitrator can impose rules on the couple and penalize them if those rules are broken. 

Best For: Best if you want a final (and binding) decision when finalizing your divorce. 

Limitation: Similar to litigation, using arbitration takes your divorce out of your hands. 

Mediation is California’s simplest, fastest, and most affordable divorcing option. Want to mediate your case with California’s best service? Look no further. 

Families First Mediation is the people’s top choice when it comes to divorce. Book your free consultation now.

When Divorce Mediation Is Not The Best Option

When Divorce Mediation is not the best option

Divorce mediation can be a fantastic way to create grounds for an amicable divorce. However, it is still vital to recognize when you are in a situation where mediation might not be the best route. 

Take these scenarios as an example to help you determine if other options would be more appropriate.

1. Power Imbalances

According to a piece done by ADR Times; “in simple terms, a power imbalance results when the parties don’t share the decision-making and other aspects of the relationship equally. 

One party is often in control, and the other is being controlled.” This can quickly turn toxic in mediation since your partner (if you are on the receiving end of the imbalance) is used to calling the shots. 

They can attempt to bulldoze over not just you, but also the mediator.  

2. Physical / Mental Abuse Situations

Negotiations in these kinds of circumstances very rarely ever go well because of the fear and intimidation that grow from the trauma of abuse.

There can be safety concerns when putting you and your spouse together in one room. 

The receiver of abuse might be coerced into compromising since in most situations – even the presence of their abuser can send them into fight or flight (whether they know it or not).

3. Other Legal Issues

Mediation might not be best when your spouse is going through other legal battles, such as a criminal matter.  

It can cause a lack of transparency, resulting in suspicion that your spouse (or yourself) isn’t being entirely honest about their assets. 

When it comes to divorce, honesty is the best policy since not telling the truth results in potential court sanctions and fees.

4. Your Spouse Simply Doesn’t Want To Do It

Unfortunately, your partner can not be forced to attend mediation. 

Try to find out why your spouse doesn’t want to mediate and what your spouse’s specific concerns are regarding the mediation. 

You can then interview mediators to see if they have solutions to address that concern. 

If this isn’t the case for you and you need a mediator, contact Dina Haddad today. She can schedule a free consultation.

Key Differences Between Divorcing Options

Key Differences between divorcing Options

You should stay educated on the differences in divorcing options (as we discussed earlier.) There are a lot of reasons why mediation is your best bet if you are considering it in your divorce. 

  • Time: Compared to the other divorce options, mediation is much faster. Sessions can also be scheduled at your convenience, so if you are busy and often find yourself at work, you can still go while attending your sessions. 
  • Cost: Mediation is the most cost-effective option out there right now. You won’t have to hire multiple attorneys or other legal employees. With this option, you will only have to hire one person.
  • Post-divorce stability: If you choose a good mediator, they will help you come up with a plan even after the divorce is finalized. Budgeting is a big part that you need to think about regardless of whether you need to pay support. 
  • Confidentiality: In cases of Arbitration and Divorce Litigation, you have less privacy than you might think. With more attorneys needed to be present, judges, and arbitrators were involved. 
  • Adversarial nature: Mediation allows for a non-adversarial environment built on cooperation and mutual respect. Other options can still involve these things, but with lawyers assisting in reaching a solution, it can lead to competition.

Skip adversarial court battles and expensive attorneys by mediating your divorce with Families First Mediation

Create a personalized and quality agreement with Dina Haddad. Schedule your free video consultation today.

Making the Right Decision for Your Divorce

To word it with grace, “divorce is a complex and emotionally charged process, but choosing the right method can significantly impact the outcome.” 

One of the best divorce mediators services you can find near you in California is ‘Families First Mediation.’ 

The founder of Families First Mediation is Dina Haddad. Ms. Haddad received the honorable designation of Super Lawyer for her exceptional mediation work in California. 

Her mission is to prove only the best quality services available to clients at all socio-economic levels. She has practiced family law in Southern California and Northern California at some of the most prestigious law firms. 

Families First Mediation also provides an all purpose settlement conference for parties that need an alternative option to other more expensive choices.

Through them, you can reduce stress, time, and cost. Dina and her other divorce attorney-mediators can manage high-conflict/high-asset cases to reach a speedy resolution. Focused on not only helping you just during your appointment but also creating a plan for your future.  

They can understand that mediation, on top of everything else, can be overwhelming. But in their words – “mediation is the best way to take control of your divorce and get the best results.”

Summary Points

Divorce mediation in California can be one of the best options for an amicable and peaceful dissolution. But (as we have discussed), you should always prepare yourself and ensure this is what will be best for you and your partner. 

Mediation has many perks and can give you an advantage over disagreements, but it is only suitable for some situations.

  1. In cases of power imbalances between spouses.
  2. If there’s a history of physical or mental abuse.
  3. One spouse is dealing with complex legal issues. 
  4. When one party is unwilling to participate or cooperate in the process.

If you have these issues in your relationship with your divorcé – you have options like litigation, arbitration, and even collaborative divorce. 

Your main goal should be choosing the best method to serve you and your interests. 

Skip adversarial court battles and expensive attorneys by mediating your divorce with Families First Mediation. Create a personalized and quality agreement with Dina Haddad

Schedule your free video consultation today. 

Next Reading: Online Divorce Mediation| Complete Guide

Frequently Asked Questions

Cases involving abuse, power imbalances, or other complicated legal issues. There are reasons that these factors don’t make a suitable environment for mediation. 

In these situations, consider whether having an  attorney consult with you while you are mediating is enough for you to receive the mediation benefits without you being harmed.

A lawyer can help you better understand not just your rights but your partner’s rights to prevent further trouble. 

They can also represent you in court (if you aren’t doing a DIY divorce, you won’t need to go to court to begin with). But you do not need one, no. 

They are not necessary during mediation sessions.

Divorce mediation is recommended in most cases. It can help you communicate one-on-one with your spouse, lay out what you want out of the divorce, and hear what your partner wants out of the divorce. 

Mediation sessions focus more on issues like property division, coming up with plans for child custody and visitation, child support, and alimony.

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